You Had Mail

Hello. My name is Morgan. I like to help around the house. Most recently I’ve decided to help with the mail. Whenever anything drops through the letterbox it’s my responsibility to ensure that;

1. I announce that we have new mail¹.
2. I am the first to the letterbox².
3. It poses no immediate threat to my humans³.

Some envelopes are thicker than others. These are apparently called “ballot papers”. I left my very own mark on those. My humans said that I may have spoiled them. I disagree. They look much better with holes in. The pet shop my humans buy me treats from sent them a loyalty card. It was quite chewy but lacked flavour. I’ve read that newspapers are used to wrap fish and chips. Unfortunately, I have yet to find any despite vigorous scrutiny. I can’t wait to try a proper Indian takeaway if the taste of the menus is anything to go by. There’s so much variety. I doubt I’ll ever grow tired of checking the mail.

I like helping. My name is Morgan. I am a good boy.

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1. Even when they’re fast asleep in bed. ↩
2. I am, as yet, the unbeaten champion. ↩
3. Or perhaps more specifically, does not contain anything edible. ↩